(Written by an IBCLC who has heard “it’s the most natural thing, you don’t need to prepare” one too many times)
Let’s talk about the two versions of breastfeeding you’ve probably seen online.
Version one: soft lighting, a serene mum, a peacefully latched baby, possibly a scented candle burning in the background.
Version two: 3am, someone crying (possibly both of you), a phone screen at full brightness frantically Googling “why won’t my baby latch.”
Most mums end up somewhere in the middle, but very few feel genuinely prepared for what the first few days actually look like. As an IBCLC (that’s an International Board-Certified Lactation Consultant, not a made-up acronym), I’ve supported thousands of mums through this. And the thing I hear most often is: “I wish someone had told me this before.”
So here it is. The real guide. No BS, no scare-mongering, no pretending it’s all candles and calm.
What you’ll learn;
- What actually makes breastfeeding work
- What to expect in the first week
- How to build your milk supply
- What to do before your baby arrives
Why breastfeeding can feel harder than you expected
Here’s the thing nobody loves to say out loud: breastfeeding is natural, but it is also a learnt skill – for both you and your baby.
In those first few days, you’re asking your brand new baby to master a complex feeding skill, while you’re also recovering from birth, running on no sleep, and fielding approximately forty-seven opinions from family members.
The gap between “it should just work” and what actually happens? That’s where most problems start. And honestly, that gap exists because we just don’t talk about this stuff enough beforehand.
What actually determines whether breastfeeding goes well
Here’s the good news: breastfeeding success is not about luck, willpower, or having the right kind of nipples. It comes down to four things:
- Early and frequent feeding
- An effective latch
- Good milk removal
- Confidence and support
If one of these is off, problems can snowball quickly. The brilliant thing is that all of them can be learned, supported, and sorted.
How your milk supply actually builds
Your milk supply works on a demand and supply basis. The more milk that’s removed, the more your body makes.
In the first 2 to 3 weeks, your body is setting your long-term milk supply. This means:
Milk supply basics;
- 8 to 12 feeds in 24 hours is normal
- Cluster feeding is expected
- Long gaps can reduce supply
If your baby isn’t feeding effectively, your supply may not build the way it should.
If you’re already worrying about whether your baby is getting enough, this guide on how to tell if your milk supply is low will help you understand what’s normal.
This is why getting latch right early on matters so much. If you’re unsure what a good latch actually looks like, you can take a look at my step-by-step video course to getting a deep, pain-free latch.
What no one prepares you for in the first week
The first week can feel relentless. Feeding is constant. Your baby wants to be on you all the time. There is no routine yet.
This is normal.
But there is a difference between normal intensity and feeding that is not working well.
Latch
A good latch is the foundation of comfortable, effective breastfeeding, and one of the biggest factors in preventing pain and protecting your milk supply.
Basic tips:
- Bring baby to you
- Chest to chest
- Nose to nipple
- Chin touching breast
- Wait for a wide open mouth
The most common mistakes before baby arrives
- Buying bottles “just in case”
- Planning strict schedules
- Focusing on products instead of skills
- Overbuying baby products
If you do plan to introduce a bottle later on, it’s worth understanding how this works properly – especially as many breastfed babies initially refuse bottles. You can read more on this here.
What to buy
Keep it simple:
- Feeding pillow
- Pump if needed
- Breast pads
If you’re planning to express milk as well, you can take a look at my video (and guide) course on how to start pumping while breastfeeding without affecting your supply.
When to ask for help
Seek help if:
- Pain continues
- Baby not latching
- Sleepy baby
- Low supply worries
- Poor weight gain
What a realistic plan looks like
- Feed responsively
- Focus on latch
- Expect frequent feeds
- Watch nappies
- Ask for help early
Want to go into this feeling prepared?
This is exactly what I teach inside my Ultimate Breastfeeding course. It’s a clear, step-by-step plan so you know:
- How to get breastfeeding off to a strong start
- How to build and protect your milk supply
- What to do if things don’t go to plan
- Latching videos in every position from the Mums POV so you can perfect your latch from the very beginning
- How to pump alongside breastfeeding and so so much more!
You can start during pregnancy and come back to it once your baby is here.
If you want a clear plan instead of guessing, you can start the Ultimate Breastfeeding course here and feel confident before your baby arrives. It also includes Latching 101 and Pumping When Breastfeeding, so you’ve got everything covered in one place.
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