(Written by an IBCLC who is here to tell you: breastfeeding is not supposed to hurt, and you do not have to just put up with it)
Let’s start with the thing I wish more mums were told before they left the hospital: breastfeeding is not supposed to hurt.
I know. You might have been told “it’s normal at the start” or “just give it a few weeks and it’ll settle down.” And while some sensitivity in those very first days is not unusual while you are both finding your feet, sharp, pinching, burning, or ongoing pain throughout a feed is not something you should be pushing through.
Pain is not a rite of passage. It is information. It is your body telling you something needs adjusting – and the good news is that in most cases, it can be improved quickly with the right support.
What you’ll learn
- Why breastfeeding hurts
- What it should feel like
- The most common causes
- How to fix it quickly
What breastfeeding should actually feel like
A good latch should feel strong and effective – a definite pulling sensation, but not at all sharp or pinching. After those very first seconds, it should feel very comfortable and once they are swallowing well, you may not feel anything (apart from the sensation of milk ejection/letdown in your breasts). You might also notice your baby’s jaw moving rhythmically, swallowing sounds, and them staying nicely attached without slipping.
If feeding continues to hurt beyond those initial seconds, something needs looking at. There is always a reason, and it is almost always fixable.
The most common causes of breastfeeding pain
1. A shallow latch
This is the most common cause of breastfeeding pain, and it is behind a huge amount of unnecessary suffering. A shallow latch means your baby is not deeply attached to the breast – they are essentially just on the end of your nipple, which is every bit as uncomfortable as it sounds.
Signs to look out for:
- Pinching or sharp pain that does not ease after the first few seconds
- Your nipple coming out flattened, lipstick-shaped, or misshapen after a feed
- Clicking sounds during feeding
- Your baby slipping off repeatedly
A shallow latch also affects how much milk your baby is actually transferring, so it is worth sorting for their sake as much as yours. For a full step-by-step guide, read my guide on how to get a deep, pain-free latch.
2. Positioning
Positioning and latch are completely linked – you cannot have one without the other. UNICEF Baby Friendly guidance highlights poor positioning as one of the main causes of sore nipples, and in my experience that is absolutely right.
What to look for:
- Baby held close, chest to chest
- Head and body in alignment – they should not have to turn their head to feed
- Full support for your baby’s whole body
Always adjust positioning first before trying to fix the latch. Get the foundations right and everything else becomes easier.
3. Engorgement
When your milk comes in – usually around days 3 to 5 – your breasts can become very full and firm. This can actually make it harder for your baby to latch deeply, because there is not enough give in the breast tissue for them to get a good mouthful.
Signs:
- Tight, swollen breasts
- Baby struggling to attach or slipping off
- Discomfort or throbbing
Feeding frequently is the best thing you can do. If your breasts are very firm before a feed, gently hand expressing a little milk first can soften the areola and make it much easier for your baby to latch.
4. Nipple damage
Cracked, grazed, or bleeding nipples are not something to ignore or just put cream on and hope for the best. They are almost always caused by a shallow latch or poor positioning, which means the only way to actually heal them is to address the root cause.
Nipple cream can help with comfort while things improve, but it will not fix the underlying problem. Improving the latch is what allows healing to happen properly.
5. Fast or slow milk flow
Some babies really struggle to manage milk flow. If the flow is fast, they might pull off, cough, or splutter. If it is slow, they might get frustrated and come off the breast repeatedly. Both can cause discomfort for you and stress for both of you.
Making sure your baby’s chin is off their chest and their head is slightly tilted back helps them manage flow much more effectively. Positioning adjustments – a more upright hold for fast flow, gentle breast compression for slow flow – can make a real difference here.
6. Vasospasm
This one gets missed a lot, and I really want to flag it because mums can suffer with it for weeks without ever knowing what it is. Vasospasm happens when the blood vessels in the nipple tighten, often after a feed or when exposed to cold air.
Signs:
- Burning, stabbing, or throbbing pain after the feed rather than during it
- Nipple turning white immediately after your baby comes off
- Colour changes from white to purple to red
Vasospasm is often linked to nipple trauma or a shallow latch – so improving the latch is the most important step. Keeping your nipples warm after feeds and avoiding cold air can also really help while things improve.
7. Tongue tie or oral restriction
Sometimes there is a physical reason why feeding is painful despite good positioning and latch. A tongue tie or other oral restriction can affect how your baby is able to attach to the breast, and it is worth having an assessment if you are doing everything right and still struggling.
Signs that might suggest this:
- Ongoing pain despite good positioning and technique
- Difficulty maintaining the latch
- Clicking sounds during feeds
- Slow weight gain
This needs assessment by a trained professional – do not rely on a quick visual check.
What to do if breastfeeding hurts right now
Start here:
- Check your positioning first – chest to chest, chin touching your breast, nose to nipple
- Wait for a really wide open mouth before latching
- If it feels uncomfortable, gently break the latch with a clean finger and try again
- Do not push through pain – it is telling you something needs adjusting
Pain is information, not something to endure. Small adjustments can make a really significant difference.
When to get support
Please reach out sooner rather than later if:
- Pain continues beyond the first few seconds of a feed
- Your nipples are damaged or not healing
- Your baby is not feeding effectively
- Feeding feels stressful or overwhelming
Early support can prevent a short-term problem becoming a much longer one. You do not need to wait until things feel completely unmanageable.
Want to fix breastfeeding pain quickly and properly?
This is exactly what I cover inside my Latching 101 course – including videos filmed from the mum’s point of view for every feeding position, so you can see exactly what it should look like from where you are sitting, not just the external view you see everywhere else. Inside, you’ll also learn:
- How to get a deep, comfortable latch
- How to fix the most common causes of pain
- How to improve milk transfer
- What to look for during feeds so you know it’s working
No more guessing, no more pushing through. You can start the Latching 101 course here.
Want to feel confident from the start?
Latching 101 is also included inside my Ultimate Breastfeeding course, alongside everything you need on milk supply, feeding patterns, pumping, and introducing a bottle. It’s designed for mums at every stage – whether you’re pregnant and planning ahead or already in the thick of it.
You can start the Ultimate Breastfeeding course here.
You might also find these helpful
- How to get a deep, pain-free latch: step-by-step
- 10 reasons your baby won’t latch (and what to do today)
- Is my baby getting enough milk? Signs to look for
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